Fun in the Sun Minus the Sun

Some necessary background on me and water: first, I can't really swim. I say "really" because a very long time ago my mom took me to the YWCA to remedy that situation. I was about 10 years old. My most vivid memory is undressing with very many older naked ladies. I did not like that.

I wore glasses at the time but couldn't wear them in the pool so I couldn't see what was demonstrated. No pun intended, I felt like a fish out of water. I muddled through. My family moved to a house that had a pool when I was 14. My memories are of holding my breath, swimming one length, stopping, gulping for air and turning around to "swim" again. I used to think I could save myself if need be, but I highly doubt that anymore.

Next the whole vacation bathing suit dilemma. Ugh! Or beter yet, "Double Ugh!" as my dad likes to lament. I have never been a fan of swimsuits in any shape or form. May quite possibly have something to do with my shape and form. Oh well. What is, is.

A month before our vacation I began the online hunt for suits. Ordered one. It came. Ha ha ha! Ordered another. More laughter. More orders phoned in, knowing once I found an acceptable garment I'd send all others back. What a fortune temporarily spent. However, the horror of an actual dressing room experience kept me from all actual stores.

I finally didn't throw up when I tried on the last of the mail order suits, so that was the keeper. Vacation began in less than a week. I was ready. Me, my suit, my cover up and my floppy hat. I never wear hats but I thought, Why not? No one knows me up there but my family. It might be fun.

One more purchase necessary for fun in the sun: a float, a big huge 72 inch round float, and since I just wanted to lie on the float and not have to keep paddling myself around, I bought a small mushroom-shaped anchor, to anchor me in the middle of the lovely, calm, shallow lake I remembered so well.

We arrived - my five men and me. The place looked beautiful. Log cabins, same little play area where my young sons once played, same welcoming hosts. We were at Houghton Lake. We were back after an eight-year absence, and it felt great.

We blew up the float and although it was pretty windy we ventured out. The hilarious part of this trip into the lake is that my husband held the float for me at the dock. I didn't even have to get wet! Now that's my kind of swimming! Beginning to see a pattern? I like beer that doesn't taste like beer (previous post), I enjoy water if I'm not actually in it.

The waves got bigger and the water was mighty cold splashing up over my lake island. I lasted an hour tops, gracefully slipping off the back, into the water for maybe two seconds, and climbing the dock steps.

And that was the last time any of us were in the water all week long. The first day or two I encouraged, "Oh, this dreadful weather will never last. It came in fast; it will go away fast. The wind will slow, the lake will be calm, and we can swim and fish without upending on whitecaps." Didn't that sound like great advice? I thought so. My dear ones believed my optimism until about Wednesday. By then I didn't even believe it. It sucked! And we all felt the disappointment.

But my men did venture out to fish. It amazes me how two sons aged 20 and 21 can act like little infants when seated next to one another in the car on the shortest jaunts into town, hands all over one another. "Mom, tell him to leave me alone. I'm going to punch him if he doesn't leave me alone, Mom. I really am." (So punch him!)

How is it that these same two creatures can and did spend eight hours a day fishing together in a 14 foot aluminum boat? Remarkable! They had such fun. They reconnected; we all did. So we couldn't swim, or even lie in the sun. And you know that floppy hat I'd bought? I attempted wearing it only once when the wind nearly ripped it off my head. It joined the other misfits on the island of lost vacation toys: spray-on Coppertone, aloe for sunburn - now there's a hoot!, swimsuit, cover up, really expensive float, anchor, water cannons and big, soft, fluffy brand new beachtowels for six!

I now know it is possible to come back from a summer vacation whiter than when we left!

For more vacation memories tune in tomorrow.

~ Maureen :)