Can we really live our lives for others?

OK, pick yourself off the floor for surely you have fainted seeing new material here! I'm a mom. I've been busy. It's Christmastime. What can I say? I can say thank you for keeping coming back here to check if anything is new. So, thank you very much. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas, or if that's too Pollyanna, I hope you survived Christmas.

Between serving lunch to my son's basketball team here at our house today, and awaiting my niece's family tonight, I have written some thoughts to you ~~~

Live our lives for others. Is this truly possible? Can it be done? It is really possible in this World of Me to put ourselves second, third, fourth, last? I know what I want. What I want. I think about me. I worry about me. I wish for my happiness. But can I do a 180? Should I do a 180? Is that what God wants of me?

I think that’s exactly what God wants of me.

It means that we keep giving until we think we can’t give anymore. And then when we are 100% sure we can’t possibly give anymore because we have completely lost our own sense of self, we keep giving. And when we turn that corner we discover a strength we never knew we possessed.

I have always been strong. I had to be. I raised four sons. I was not the breadwinner so I won everything else; that’s what was decided early on. I would stay home and raise the kids. Barefoot and pregnant.

So, in the first six years of my married life I had five c-sections. How crazy is that? Looking back I am simply amazed. But I did it. One daughter followed by four sons.

And then one day my daughter didn’t want to wake up. Three days later she was gone. No warning. Just gone. I was five months pregnant. I did manage to slip on some shoes for the funeral.

How did I survive? Really, how did I? How does anyone survive the loss of a child? For the sake of the others, that’s how. In my case, it was for the sake of my unborn child. He was my uppermost thought. I would have done anything to protect him, and protecting him meant keeping all those horrible emotions inside of me. It killed me but it saved him. Thus began the beginning of living for others.

At the time I did not understand the benefit of living for others; I just did it. It was the only way for me. But I didn’t do it selflessly. Most times I did it quite begrudgingly. As more and more children came, less and less time was available for me. Why did my job last 24 hours a day seven days a week with no time off for Sundays or holidays? (Or even for good behavior?) And although my husband was the sole breadwinner, his 9-5 job was finite. He got time off. He unwound. He unplugged. Every one of you moms out there can surely relate.

I was naïve back then, but I’m not so young anymore. However, I’m not so old either. I am what I am. And what I am is a questioning soul. I question many aspects of my life now. I could go crazy with all my wonderings. Or I could just let go of them and give them to God which is the route I have taken.

I feel God’s presence all around me. He guides my decisions and makes the ordinary extraordinary. I have been fortunate enough to love many people in this life – family as well as friends. They used to be my be-all-and-end-all. They are not anymore. Now God is my be-all-and-end-all. It is a very freeing way of feeling. His rules are clear; His love never-ending. He has no ulterior motive to anything He does. He only wants us to be the very best we can be. He gives us every single thing we need every single day. He gives us just what we need for today. Since no one is guaranteed a day beyond this one, that is enough.

So I live for this one day. Every day I pray the Lord’s Prayer, the Our Father, but many times I begin “My Father who art in heaven…” He is my Father. And He is yours. Do you talk to Him every morning? Do you thank him when your life goes oh-so-right? Or do you only curse Him when your life dive-bombs?

Would you even want to be around a friend who only wanted you for what you could give to her? Would you seek to surround yourself with takers if you had the choice? At my worst times I reeled about hating takers. On and on I would complain about, and to, the takers in my life. But you know what? Without all the takers I never could have given so much of myself for all these years. And isn’t that the point of a Christian life? To give yourself away every single blessed day?

So, even though I have screamed, cried and lamented aspects of this life because of the many demands on my life, without those demands I could not and would not have had the opportunity to give. You don’t give a glass of water to someone sitting in the middle of an oasis. God put me where He needed me to be, amongst all the takers. And each time I gave, He gave me more.

Remember the scene from “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” when the Grinch’s heart breaks out of its confines bursting forth with the love of all the Whos in Whoville? He felt firsthand what it feels like to experience true love. That love enabled the Grinch to lift that sleigh full of toys and Christmas trees high above his head and turn it around to zoom down the hill to the throng of singing Whos. Love redirected him.

Love can redirect your life, if you are smart enough to let it. Not romantic love, but real true love. God’s love. All you have to do is look for God’s love and you will find it. Ask, seek, knock. Ever heard that? It works.

There is however a catch. It’s actually a rather large catch. You can’t simply ask, seek and knock willy-nilly. You have to ask for what God wishes you to have. So that pretty much eliminates winning the lottery or marrying the man of your dreams, unless, of course, it’s in God’s plan for you to marry Prince Charming. Some women do. But have you ever noticed that the fairytale life rarely, if ever, ends happily-ever-after?

There’s just something wrong with people having it all. Why? Because if we have it all down here why would we ever seek God in His heaven? If this is it and it is perfect, why wish for more? Why strive to attain eternal life?

I look at people in my life and cannot fathom why they must suffer in any way. They are good. They are giving. And therein lies why they must suffer. It’s not that they must suffer; it is that God has given them the privilege of suffering.

Yeah, I know, you probably think I’m nuts. You’re not the first. But think about it. What do you wish for your children? You wish for them the very best. Do you give it to them? Do you hand them anything they want right away just because they want it? I hope not because if you do you are going to have some rotten kids. You know what your children need. You know the need for discipline, the need for suffering. You are not a masochist for realizing that some life lessons can only be learned through suffering. God isn’t a masochist either.

He loves us as He loved His only Son. Did God the Father set God the Son before the world with a jeweled crown on His royal head and a silver spoon in His mouth? No, He did not. We all know the horror the Father allowed on the Son.

He allowed it. He witnessed it. He survived it. Why? Same reason I kept going after my daughter died. For the sake of others. God gave the supreme example of selfless love to all generations. Who am I to throw the example aside to live only for my wishes?

So I have begun to give to those who need it, to all those who cross my path. Not just the ones I choose to see, but finally I “see” the ones closest to me every day. Those who look me squarely in the face and strive to drive me over the proverbial edge. Those who demand and expect. Those who forget to say thank you. This is where God put me. I finally see why He put me here.

It will surely be a struggle. I expect it to be. I wish for it to be. If I am given a difficult path it means that God has put the same confidence in me that He put in the Son. His Son rose to the occasion. I will, too, and God will be with me every step of the way.

~Maureen :)