11 Months Until Christmas

Christmas overwhelms. And by the time it does, it’s too late to do much about it. So we place a Band-Aid on the gushing wound, hope for the best and smile throughout December 25th. We unearth what happiness we can find falling to sleep exhausted. If this rings true, now is the time to do something about the Christmas chaos in our lives because in exactly 11 months we will be Merry Christmasing once more.

When I began writing this 365-day blog I had just endured Christmas. “Endured” is not the cheeriest word to characterize Christmas now, is it? But it’s honest, at least for me. (For more details see my January 13 blog entitled “I’ll Just Whisper It…Christmas.”) I did many things wrong last year, but a few things right. Something I need to remember next Christmas is that our basic family dynamic is not going to transform overnight on Christmas Eve. Pie-in-the-sky expectations hurt everyone. Overcompensating with presents is not the answer.

I feel that one answer to enjoying the holidays more fully is to begin enjoying every day now, working up slowly to experience the joy of Christmas. A more joyful family will bring more joy to the season. It’s not supposed to be about getting; Christmas should be about giving. I’ve said more than once in my writing that perhaps I haven’t taught my children the best ways to give. I’ve taught them how to receive by giving so much to them. Don’t get the wrong idea – my sons all have generous souls, but if I had it to do over, I would take my boys to the soup kitchen regularly instead of going alone. I would see that my sons chose a gift card from the giving tree at church and bought presents for someone in need instead of taking charge and doing it alone “in all our names.” I would give more to the needy and be sure that my kids did the same. Kids learn best hands-on – we all do.

A happy memory just popped into my head. For several years before Thanksgiving when my children were small, I would give them each $10.00 and we would walk around the grocery store searching for as much food as we could get for those less fortunate. Each boy was responsible for his own $10.00. And they loved that! I remember the careful thought each put into his choices. Then on Thanksgiving morning we would take the bags to morning Mass. I miss that time. But maybe by remembering I’ve hit on a clue. It’s never too late to give. We’re never too old to give. I think we just get lazy, complacent with our own lives forgetting that if we would share with others our own lives couldn’t help but be enriched.

Right now my boys have so many clothes they never wear it’s simply ridiculous. All over the place. I’ve surely lamented about lack of closets in our 1823 beauty of a house, right? I walk into their rooms and cringe. Yesterday I sorted through all kinds of junk in the space I’ve reclaimed for myself, and found that some of it wasn’t junk. Some of it could definitely be used by others which means that a Goodwill stop is in my future this week. Giving it away will make me feel good. Funny how that works, huh?

So for me, 11 months before Christmas I am not specifically thinking about the big day. I am thinking of all the little days that make up a life, that make up my family’s life. I am thinking of ways to make my family better, more giving. Today when my sons return from work and/or school they will be greeted with yet another chore list. But this one will have a two-fold purpose: Besides straightening a mess, let’s see how many clothes we can give to a person in need who would truly appreciate them.

My boys have already seen how I’ve cleaned up my bit of space upstairs, my Happy Place, as I jokingly refer to it. Leading by example seems to be a prerequisite for this mom job. I’ll talk it up at the dinner table, I’ll ask the boys to carry the bags to my car so they see and realize. I know my boys give. But I want them to give more, and not just around holidays. I’ll remind them of our pre-Thanksgiving shopping trips and go from there. It’s a good start. Wish me luck.