Super Duper Mom Compass

I’m b-a-a-a-ck! Two days strong!

How are you, ladies? Have you finished your holiday entertaining? Decorations in boxes or still adorning every square inch of your home?

I love Christmas…in theory. I believe all that stuff in the Bible. Baby Jesus. Mary. Joseph. Wisemen. Shepherds. What’s not to love about that story?

But then there’s my story, the modern mom story of Christmas. The Christmas that Charlie Brown knows and hates so well. Commercialism and exhaustion which is light years away from the true story which God intended to share.

Where have we gone so wrong? I know I don’t desire another Christmas like the one we just ushered out. I don’t think I could endure another year like 2009. On the surface all looks rosy: a mom, a wife, four healthy sons. Outward appearances can be so misleading.

For new arrivals to my site, I am smack dab between 0 and 100, a woman who thought she had all the answers for a while, raised four boys to men, staying married in the process. I now know I don’t have a clue. I’ve been up and down and all turned around in the last several years. I feel I’ve come a long way only to get to square one.

I suppose giving up isn’t acceptable.

Do I give in?

Or maybe, just give?

I used to give all the time. I could have been the proverbial poster child for giving. What mom doesn’t give of herself for her children? My four boys came fast and furious in five years. I couldn’t do anything but give. You moms know the routine, day after day, year after year, until you finally find yourself with a miniscule amount of breathing room.

So you breathe.

And you look. And you don’t like what you see. And you don’t like how you feel. You want a do-over. You realize 20-some years into your married-with-children stint that something is missing.

What is missing is you. You are gone. The girl is history in the blink of an eye. A “mom” stands in her place.

But you still have your dreams, your desires. They start stabbing at you, and you don’t know what to do. You feel like you’re 10 again rolling the dice to Mystery Date. Oh how you want the life that goes with the dream date in the tux or even the surfer dude, but we all know what shows up when we open the insightful white door: the dud’s life.

You’ve given your best years to your family, and you are tired of giving. It’s that simple. Your thinking is screwed up. You need a compass to get where you want to be. A super duper mom compass to the rescue to point you on your merry little way. This way to happiness. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.

And then you wake up. I’m awake now. I don’t particularly like being awake, but I am.

Years ago I named my site “To Give God” for a reason. If in 363 days I want to be able to say, “This was a great Christmas, a great year,” I better start to give God now. And not worry about the million other things I usually worry about. I need a plan.