And the Beat Goes On...

In the words of Sonny and Cher, “And the beat goes on…yeah the beat goes on.” My distractions of yesterday continued through the remainder of the day. I think we moms live our lives between distractions. Before we have children our time is mostly our own. Our thoughts. Our dreams. But as soon as we know we are pregnant life suddenly is not about us anymore. That’s when we truly begin to live for the other. And it never stops. Once a mom always a mom.

Before I had children, which in the grand scheme of things was about one second in relation to the zillions of seconds with children, my dad asked me a question one day: “Do you know how to relax?” To do nothing. To unplug. And at the time I answered yes because it was true. And that was about the last time that statement was true.

Yesterday I so wanted the day to be a no-makeup-Who-cares-what-my-hair-looks-like kind of day, but then my son called wondering what his parents were doing for lunch. Translation: He wanted us to take him to lunch. One-on-one time with a child still remains precious – no matter how old they are or how weird they act. My son lived up to his reputation. Has he ever matured past 5? I picked him. I wasn’t doing what I wanted to be doing, but I’m not complaining. It is what it is. Choosing for the other.

Once back home I tore into my bedroom which has needed significant attention since Christmas. Made good progress. Happy with my efforts. And then the nagging thought which has plagued me since my oldest popped out, reared its ugly head once more (not ugly head of child – head of child lovely!): Am I doing enough?

Why do I always wonder if I am doing enough? Especially after such a day? Why? It is stupid. I am quite sure that no other person in my house has ever in their lives asked themselves that question or even had the feeling.

Being a mom broadens one’s horizons in a special way as our capacities to give are increased exponentially. We give ourselves completely to our children. In one way or another we are always giving. And that’s good. But it’s also good to know when, in any given day, to say that enough is enough. Tomorrow is another day to give. We can hang a closed sign on the giving tree knowing full well we will resume the practice bright and early the next morning.

Can we do this? Can I do this? I will try. To unplug. Every night. To retake the living room. The gunslinging gamers’ scores on Call of Duty are high enough already! To read a magazine just for fun. A friend bought me four subscriptions for Christmas. Four! Can you imagine! I never read magazines for fun. I will start. Or to do what I did last night and go out to a movie with my husband.

Close up shop tonight, moms. And have some fun!

LIVE FROM YOUR OWN CITY…IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!