I Believe

Here I sit in my Happy Place. Writing about it made me miss it terribly. I thought, A messed up Happy Place is better than no Happy Place at all. So I began to resurrect my space once more. Even more fallen chunks of plaster didn’t daunt my spirit. “If I don’t do it, nobody will” was my motto. I cranked the radio and an hour later the smell of orange-scented Pledge and lilac candles filled the air. Believe it or not, it’s a good combo. Better than plaster dust, that’s for sure. I still have much to do as half of the room is home to piles of junk, but it’s do-able. And I am definitely in the mood to get rid of stuff that others could use.

Happily, the electrician has come and gone so I won’t freeze to death once the cold snap hits; I’ll plug my handy dandy heater in and be warm as toast. Rain tapping on the roof above me right now is much more pleasant than listening to squabbling boys. I bought a lovely little bouquet of purple flowers for my lovely little space today.

Today was a day for the record books as far as the men in the house go. Sometimes I just look up and ask God why. I don’t get it. I really don’t understand. Maybe I’m not supposed to understand but supposed to keep going on in faith. Faith that God won’t let me completely lose my mind. Faith that my sons really have learned more from me in the past 20 years than they’re letting on. Faith that one day they too shall grow up and act like adults in front of me. I have seen them do it; I know they are capable. If nothing else, I am happy that in about five hours sleep will come. I’ll latch my faith onto that hopeful morsel. And will stay as far away from the men in this house as it humanly possible tonight…in my own place.

Remember, moms, in Cinderella (the real one with Leslie Ann Warren) when she had her own corner where she could be whatever she wanted to be? She dreamed. She had hope and faith in something greater, something better. I do too.