Lazy Day

Can you say: lazy day? This day was peaceful and quiet. Two of my sons are on Spring Break and one of them remarked how great it was to do nothing. And you know what? It is! I haven’t set the world on fire today, but I have made two pies, and cookie dough is chilling in my fridge as I write. I could have driven to town for a haircut. I could have folded clothes or cleaned the bathroom. But I didn’t. As far as I know the Clean House Police have given up on me. I don’t expect a raid from them today. Consequently, all that “stuff” can wait. My house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy. I have that phrase written on a wooden plaque which my mom gave me years ago. It’s so true.

I’m not comfortable in spotless houses – never have been. Maybe when all the boys have moved away I will find the time to care about such things, but I highly doubt it. Time will tell. As it is now, I feel I have successfully balanced the line between yelling at my sons 24/7 about their endless messes, and ignoring the mess. In other words, if company unexpectedly dropped by (which by the way, I hate!) I would not fall dead of embarrassment. The house would pass inspection. That’s a good thing.

Today one son grilled hotdogs outside for the first time this season. And afterward he took it upon himself to clean up some winter debris, and rake in the backyard – without being told. This is a very good thing! Mom is happy. I figure that if we all pitch in a little when we can that that is good enough. Everyone has busy schedules. My guys aren’t babies anymore. They all have their own lives and priorities.

I wish you a happy last day of March. Time to hang Easter eggs outside!

Thanks for Listening, God

Have you ever had one of those days when you felt you were right where God wanted you to be? Or been thinking about something and ~ voila ~ there’s your answer? That’s how I felt this morning. I began my day at Mass and Bible Study where there was so much to take in I thought my head would explode! Holy Thursday Mass, Good Friday’s Passion, the unbelievably long Easter Vigil and finally Easter Day. Our group discussed all of the aforementioned.

So many feelings rippling through me. Do I do enough? No, I don’t do enough. Sure, I do enough. What is enough? Who knows? But I do know that I always feel safe and content at Bible Study. For a couple hours each week I feel like an apostle – a disciple of Christ learning some of what all Christians should know. I listen. I take notes. I ponder.

I like learning. I enjoy exploring the facets of the Bible. Wherever I am on my own personal journey affects what I come away with each week. Today I was open to possibility. On Palm Sunday I told myself I would participate in all Holy Week church activities. Just knowing that I said yes to God has put me in a good frame of mind. I get up early, knowing what the day will bring, and have the energy to see my agenda through. There’s no wiggle room. At night I feel that good kind of tired that says “well done.”

After Bible Study I was this pathetic hungry woman desperately seeking a lunch partner. Called one husband and three sons to no avail. I gave up and drove to the post office to send a bill away. And up I look and walking right in front of my Jeep is my friend – my soon-to-be lunch partner. We had a wonderful time together both enjoying each other’s company.

I just love it when God answers my prayers before I even really put a voice to them. He knew what I wanted and gave it to me. Now, to be sure, God doesn’t always answer in such a favorable and timely fashion, but He does always answer. It’s just extra nice when He answers this way.

May God’s ear be especially inclined to your needs this week.

Oh Wouldn't It Be Nice?

You know what I love? I love it when a fellow mom rants and raves to me. I really do. Because she knows I will understand; I’ve been there. A little while ago I came home from a very long but fruitful day to a classic mom rant from a friend. How many such rants have I written in my time to my friends? How many stars in the heavens? Actually half of my as-yet-unpublished book is full of them. I’m old enough to put some of these situations into perspective. My kids are older, and as corny as it may sound, I am wiser.

But even with my newfound wisdom you know what I’d really like to do? I’d like to go hit these stupid husbands upside the head and say, “Open your freaking eyes and see what that lovely woman does for you and for YOUR children. Stop being blind a.k.a. stupid!”

Without much thought at all I can think of five men to whom I’d like to issue the above statement. Each additional day that I live I am dumbfounded at the extreme differences between men and women. Why did God do it? Why did He put both sexes on the same planet? What was His grand plan? Merely for procreation?

Shall we go all the way back to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden? If they hadn’t picked the fruit would all our relationships be rosy? Would men wash dishes and happily ferry the children to their many activities? Would they pick up their own socks and underwear? Would they turn on the washing machine? And would they say, “Thank you for all that you do, Honey, every single day – the things that I see, and the hundreds of things that I couldn’t possibly see. Thank you for taking the time to make OUR children be the best that they can be…Is there anything I can do for you right now?”

Yeah, I know, my blog has disintegrated to fantasy. But wouldn’t it nice?

Crucify Him? Really?

Every Palm Sunday I wish the same thing: that during the Passion of Christ when it comes time for the congregation to chime in with, “Crucify Him,” that no one says a word. But that’s never happened and it didn’t happen again this year. I know the reading is a re-enactment, of sorts, but still I wish for everyone to simply remain silent. That would send a bigger message to the church – send a bigger message to God – an immense, yet silent, “I’m sorry.” Like if we had it all to do over again we would try to do the right thing. Maybe next year.

As I look forward to my week I have so much to do. All moms do. Dragging out the familiar recipes. Writing the grocery list, buying food for our own dinner as well as for the places we visit. Baking the cookies and pies. Tending to my parents. Tending to my own family and my own house while participating in the many church activities all week long. It boggles the mind. I wish my family attended these activities with me. But they don’t. And I don’t push anymore. It’s not worth the opposition. They’re doing their own thing these days. So add onto the anticipated work a dash of misplaced guilt at not being at home several nights this week. What’s a mother to do? A mother who especially during Holy Week, feels that her first duty is to God, over family.

But right now I feel I have some control over it. One week to go. If I plan well and organize diligently perhaps I can pull this off without repeating the Christmas fiasco. I sure hope I do.

It never fails that during Holy Week each year I feel as if I haven’t done enough. I feel I always come up short. Why is that? Perhaps it’s because as Good Friday approaches I realize that no matter what I ever do, it could never compare to what God has done for me by sacrificing His one and only Son. Or, perhaps it’s the nagging question: If I were there in Jerusalem that fateful day would I have stayed silent? Or would I have gone with the crowd yelling, “Crucify Him”? I’ll never know.

Happy Saturday

Peaceful yet constructive day here today. Finally hauled down all the Easter decorations and took the time to clean my living room spic and span. It looks like bunny heaven. Accomplished much and will definitely rest on my laurels tonight. Been a week for the record books and I’m going to enjoy the night. I hope you do the same.

Turtle Day!

About a year ago one of my sons fell in love with fish. He’s always loved fishing, per se. Having the patience of Job, he can sit or stand in a river or lake for hours on end waiting for that nibble. But last summer he came across a deal, probably on Craig’s List, for an aquarium complete with filters, nets, rocks, whole shot. He just needed to buy the fish.

Did I want a huge aquarium in the corner of my living room? No. Did I want to make my son happy? Yes. He set up the aquarium, was interested in it for a while, and like many new hobbies, the aquarium began to turn murky and green. And it smelled. In the living room. Mom was not happy. Finally my son cleaned it out.

And a rebirth of interest in the little fishies grew. For the past couple weeks adding fish, and discovering really cool rocks of all shapes and sizes has been his passion. And isn’t this 100% better than mindlessly playing the Call of Duty video game? He’s bought a new filtration system, shopped the local pet stores for baby sharks and crabs, and the other day he ran across an ad for turtles.

I love turtles! Always have. He placed the order and gave me strict instructions in case the turtles arrived when he wasn’t home. Yesterday was the expected date of arrival. At midnight our whole family was still awake and pretty bummed about some of the house developments (see yesterday’s post), but once the clock struck 12 I wished my little aquatic nut, “Happy Turtle Day.”

Around noon the six little cuties arrived. I opened the package and rescued them. Again I say that I love little turtles. When my son came home he was thrilled too. It’s amazing how happiness is infectious. And still we were waiting on those pins and needles about the house offer another of my sons had made days earlier. Tensions were high, collective family nerves were frazzled, but turtle happiness shown through the gloomy clouds.

And when we received affirmation that my son’s house offer was accepted the wild rumpus started! We were all so happy. Whenever good comes to good people it restores our faith, shining up our outlook on life.

My family will forever remember the day when the journey of acquiring a new house collided with the joyous arrival of little baby turtles! Sometimes we just know when we are on the cusp of good fortune. It’s here for me and mine. I can feel it. And it feels great!

There's No Place Like Home

Earlier in the week I spoke of the whirlwind of activities as well as the many highs and lows which have bombarded me and mine. My head is spinning and I am tired. My whole family is tired.

How many of us experienced moms remember when our “big” ones were just “little” ones, and something happened in their lives that we couldn’t control? Perhaps it was after their first days of school when a tearful daughter returned home crying about the bully on the playground. Or the dear Cub Scouts who questioned the authenticity of Santa. Or a coach who was unfair. Unfortunately, the list of slights can be quite long when we’re talking, in my case, four boys times 20 years. As moms we remember them all. Like elephants, we never forget. I’ve forgiven, of course. But not forgotten.

As our little ones grow older I am reminded of the saying, “Little kids – little problems, big kids – big problems.” This was perhaps never as true as in this past week. We’ve lived through the gamut of mischief boys get into and most all it could have been avoided had my dear ones listened to their parents. But who always listens to their parents? I didn’t. Live and learn. We learn through our mistakes; they are the necessary evil of life.

But what happens when your older child comes up against a force which you know is not fair. Not a bully on the playground, or an unfair grade in science class. What do you do when your child-turned-man’s future is unfairly influenced by a total stranger? We couldn’t go punch the bully back then and we couldn’t go punch anyone now. But I wanted to.

We must continue to be the level-headed ones, the ones who guide without pushing, steer without forcing. And that is so darn hard. This week I just wanted to scream, “Do it this way! I know what I’m talking about. I’ve lived through situations like this. You haven’t. Trust me. Do it! You are too nice. ‘Nice’ isn’t going to win this one.”

Actually I did give pretty much of the above mentioned advice. The stakes were high. I needed to be heard. But my son was getting so much advice from so many people that his head was probably doing a Linda Blair.

And then I stepped back. Who knows what’s best? I don’t. Who sees around the bends and through the detours? I don’t. Who loves my children as much or more than I do? God does, that’s who. And He wants the very best for all His children. I’d spouted enough. It was time to let God get through. That was the best advice I could give my son: to ask God what He wanted for my son. And to ask God to help him achieve it. If it was meant to be, it would be.

And God came through! My son is purchasing his very own home.

I learned a few lessons myself through these difficult days. An added bonus was witnessing the solidarity of family and friends to the same end result: Everyone wanted my son to get this house. Everyone was praying and hoping and wishing for the “yes.”

And we got the yes yesterday. Apparently, I yanked the phone out of my husband’s hand when the call came through while we were eating lunch at a nearby restaurant. And apparently I was pretty loud as all eyes were on me. Oh, who cares? I was so happy! And I still am. Thank You once more, God, for lighting the way to make this possible. “With God All Things Are Possible.” Not just a cutesy saying, but fact.

Turtle Day was a very good day! More on that tomorrow…

48 Minutes Late!

It must still be yesterday somewhere. Just returned home from a family dinner to celebrate my oldest son buying his first house. More tomorrow...which is really today now! What a week. And it's not over yet.

Say It Isn't So

Until yesterday I’d never been to open-casket calling hours for a young person. It was horrible. Even though I have lost a child, I have always felt that the longer you have had a child the harder it would be to lose that child. The more the memories – the more the anguish. Such was the case yesterday when my husband and I paid our respects to the parents of a boy with whom one of my sons graduated just four short years ago. The accident involved his motorcycle and a car. Motorcycles never win those battles.

How could this child be lying in this coffin? Surely it was a hoax. Like in a movie. He would just wake up and be fine. If only that were true. But no, not so. His mom stood so near him, touching his chest often, standing, being brave. And he was an only child. Cruel fate? His time? I don’t know.

I remember substitute teaching one year at the local high school right before prom. The school coordinated the staging of a fake accident to warn soon-to-be prom goers of the hazards of drinking and driving complete with mock accident, paramedics and a life flight helicopter rescue. After the demonstration, students were ushered into the gym where we listened to a father relate the horror of answering his door in the middle of the night to hear the news that his son had been killed. The final shock for all in attendance came as each student walked single file past the coffin of the “victim.” But when the students peered into the coffin they saw their own face reflected in a mirror. Chilling. But highly effective.

That’s all I could think about as I watched the boy for whom I’d cheered throughout basketball and football right alongside my son. It’s fake. It’s a prom stunt. But, of course, it wasn’t. It was cold, stark reality for all who’d loved him. I can’t imagine what my own son, his friend, must be feeling. I hope he talks to me if he feels the need. Bottling up feelings never solves a thing. Writing now helps me a bit. Doesn’t make sense of it at all, but helps…a little.

My four sons who regularly drive me nuts have taken on a warmer glow in the face of this tragedy. You just never know. I hope my boys and their friends realize how very precious life is and treat it with the respect it deserves. We only get this one life.

My prayers go out to this young man’s family. May he rest in peace.

Teeter Totter Time

Today was a day filled with varying emotions, but hopefully this day will end on an upswing. Waiting on pins and needles for what I hope shall be some very exciting news. Such a day can’t easily be written about. I need to, as my son says, “digest” it first. So it’s digesting time for me. More tomorrow. Goodnight all!

90-year-olds Unite

How does taking your two 90-year-old parents to another’s 90th birthday party sound? Like tons of fun? Well, that’s what my husband and I did today. My parents have known the birthday girl their whole long lives – since the second grade. It’s actually quite sad when my parents read the obituaries each morning; they always seem to know someone written up in the columns. So celebrating a friend’s life at a birthday party is certainly preferable to attending their wake.

Even though it takes much effort to take my parents somewhere, the effort is well worth it. We just make our minds up to move slowly. Life is not hurried because it simply cannot be. Year by year my parents are winding down more and more. Their bodies aren’t keeping up with their aspirations. And it’s sad. About ten years ago my mom bought a pillow she keeps in the living room. It states: Screw the Golden Years. Funny to think my mom would have bought such a decoration but she did, and lately I understand why.

It’s disheartening to lose what we once had. To sit by and watch our capabilities diminish. To rely on others for so much. But it’s better than the alternative, right? At least my parents still have each other and we have them. This May they will have been married 69 years. Unbelievable! And they still love and care for one another.

My parents’ lives have been a lovely unfolding throughout the years. I can’t begin to relate all the ways in which they have taught me by their examples. May God always hold them in the palm of His hand.

Spring Is Here to Stay...I Hope!

Another glorious weather day! What a way to begin spring. And especially springtime in the Midwest where we never know from week to week if we should wear boots or flip flops. I should have spent the entire day outside working in my yard which had been the plan, but then Plan B presented itself, so my husband and I went with Plan B.

Believe it or not we went shopping at a nearby mall. A favorite store of mine had every item of clothing 40% off. These particular sales don’t come around very often so when they do, I jump. Can you say shopping spree? Gee, it was fun. I’m set now, that’s for sure.

Everyone we encountered was in great moods because the weather was so lovely. Guys and girls were in shorts, tank tops and (seriously) flip flops. My husband and I enjoyed a delicious lunch and here we are back at home.

Two of my boys went fishing today and one fell in the river which could have ended much worse as water filled part of his waders, but he’s fine. He was stronger than the current, thank goodness. Friends of my sons are expected for a bonfire later. Everyone is thinking spring. And everyone is happy. Good riddance winter. Welcome spring!

Here Comes the Son

I can’t believe how much happier everyone is in my house with the advent of this stretch of sunshine. Our temperatures are in the 60’s. I forgot just how much I missed the sun and warmth and going outdoors without a coat. And the snow this winter! Crazy! Finally we have not a trace of snow in sight. The largest plowed piles have officially disappeared. Mud has taken its place, but that’s OK with me, for as the sun shines it dries up the mud.

Today the sun is my best friend. Its very existence has spurred me on to accomplish chores inside my home so that tomorrow I will work outside. I have a few patches of pretty crocuses blooming with the promise of tulips rising up out of the ground. Of course, we also have some stray Christmas tree branches here and there, but that’s us; we’re not exactly on the ball when it comes to keeping things neatly in their places.

Until there’s an event. Then we go crazy working on things that should have already been done. This is a perfect example of me vs. my five men. I will never change this state of affairs. So I accept it. I have often said that no one cares what my house looks like. And if they do – too bad. Neat as a pin has never been me or mine. That’s just the way it is.

But hope springs eternal. I really had about given up on the inside of my house. It’s true that we have accomplished some decent home improvements in the past 15 years, but there’s so much more to do. I get quite impatient. I mean, what the heck! There are five men in this house who know how to do the things that need done. Slowly, slowly, everything happens so slowly.

I’ve written about my room upstairs which I jokingly call My Happy Place. Well, you should see that place today. 187-year-old plaster beaten off the walls awaiting blown-in insulation which, one son promises, will be done tomorrow. I’ll believe it when I see it.

I think with all things in life we must be patient and go along with God’s plan for us and acknowledge that God’s time is not our time. I complain like an ungrateful woman at times, but I am grateful for the good that God has given me. Sometimes I just have to take a chill pill and realize that God knows best. Some days I may have to swallow that pill several times a day, but then there’s a day like today when God has sent His sun. I must remember every day that God has sent us His other Son too for all our many trials – big, little and in-between. And when we talk, God the Father, His Son and Holy Spirit all listen to our pleas. And in God’s time They answer.

I wish you Son-shine in your heart today and always.

Let the Wild Rumpus Start

How was your St. Patrick’s Day? Did you wear green and drink green beer? I surely wore green as I am half Irish, but I hate beer no matter the color. The plan had been to go out to a pub near us. I didn’t want to go at all. And God intervened again. Three cheers for God! First, one of my son’s drove to a nearby mall right before dinner – the traditional corned beef and cabbage which is his personal favorite. His truck broke down which meant a trip to an auto parts store and fixing it in the parking lot. Some time passed, but how would I know exactly how much time because right after he left home our electricity went out…again. Happened on Sunday too.

My dilemma: go to Mass looking like an absolute goof with poker-straight hair as I had washed it earlier but hadn’t used my curling iron yet. Life’s little decisions. After some thought, I went. Who would care? Who would even notice? The power was out there too, but at church it’s always kind of cool if the power goes out. More spiritual feeling.

Once home we finally ate our corned beef meal but the thrill was gone. None of us were too peppy. Two sons and husband. The delay kept one son from going out, and the other son didn’t want to go. Yay! We stayed home – no drunken atmosphere for us!

And guess what we rented to watch? Where the Wild Things Are. Oh, what a movie! I positively loved it. It’s a must-see. I was quite skeptical at first. I read the book to my boys when they were younger, of course, but it was a short book. How could someone possibly make a movie from that? Well, they did it.

At one point when all the wild things were jumping on one another I got up, ran across the room and jumped on my 20-year-old and just kept kissing him and kissing him! I thought he was going to die! It was so funny. I’m going to watch the movie again today. I have forgotten how to have fun. I really have. I’m a brooder too much of the time. I need to find the joy in the moment. Fellow brooders, rent the movie!

In these parts spring is finally showing its bright, warm face. It’s amazing how much happier people are when the weather is warmer. The general mood is cheery. So bring it on, spring. “Let the wild rumpus start!”

Happy Shamrock Day!

Happy St. Patrick's Day one and all whether you're Irish or not! Wear that green. Drink that green beer. But watch those leprechauns. They messed up my living room, wrote backwards on our mirror and turned our milk green already this morning. Sneaky little fellas. May you find a pot of gold today. I suggest looking for it in a child's eyes.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

The good, the bad and the ugly of my day:

The good – Mass and Bible Study, restocking our fridge and cupboards, going out for dinner

The bad – milky white liquid leaking from the garbage bag all over my dining room floor, persistent sound emanating from the undercarriage of my Jeep reverberating louder and louder

The ugly – youngest son getting his dad’s prized truck stuck in the wet (and now hopelessly muddy and massacred) yard

I think that last one is why God invented expletives which is why I am holed up in my room until the dust (hunks of mud really) stops flying around here.

Another good – the fact that it is dark outside for tomorrow is soon enough to see our horribly torn up yard and to deal with a husband’s wrath all over again

The last good – that I am me and not my youngest son! I know what he’s doing all weekend long…lots and lots of yard work!

I hope your tomorrow is filled with an abundance of “goods.”

Just Gotta Love It

What a day! Routine visit to parents' house ended up with my brother and I accompanying our mom to the hospital! Always fun! Hours later her wrist is NOT broken. Unless of course, it is, in which case we really won't know for sure for about a week. That is if the pain persists, we take her back in, wait hours AGAIN and a second x-ray indicates new bone growth which means it was really broken after all!

And the first doctor told us we should give her ibuprophen round the clock. Then he left. In came another doctor who said acetaminophen is the way to go - not ibuprophen.

I'm going to bed!

Faith First

What must God think of us when we take so many of His blessings for granted? Usually it takes removal of a blessing before we fully appreciate its gift in our lives. Take for example, the gift of electricity. Driving past an electrical substation on the way home from Mass this morning, my husband and I saw the brightest, whitest light. Understanding electricity my husband warned me not to look at the extreme light. Something had blown. Just for having looked for that quick second my eyes hurt. That’s scary.

We came home to no power. Funny all that we take for granted, isn’t it? No lights, heat, water, Internet. Couldn’t do much that I’d planned to do. But an option presented itself: three of my four sons were home together waiting to drive up to Cleveland to watch the Cavaliers play the Celtics. Big game and all were excited. Goofy, in fact. Puffing up their macho-ness against one another in a playful fashion. Who could lift whom up in the air? Who was stronger? Lots of sparring. Our boys became my husband’s and my entertainment. That hasn’t happened in ages, and it was very fun. It never would have happened had our power been on after church. Just as one blessing was taken away another was given.

Nobody likes it when something is taken away from us, be it our electricity, our sight, our job, our child. All sorts of horrible things happen in the world that we will never understand. I don’t think we are supposed to understand. But these misfortunes and tragedies have a way of pulling us off our chartered course onto a different path – the path onto which God places us for reasons perhaps known only to Him.

We must have faith. Without faith life is a series of mishaps with no purpose. We must believe and trust God to take care of us. When He shuts the door we must set our sights on the window trusting that God will open it. Faith comes first. Then God acts.

Into the Light

Ever felt like this?

How to be happy when most thoughts are sad
Pretending you don’t miss what you never had
Keeping going day after day
Staying afloat come what may
Making promises to myself to be true
To the dreams deep within, but what do I do
When pessimism and doubt cast shadows around?
Where is the Real to which I am bound?
Where can I find it? Where can it be?
This special love that’s calling to me
Out of the humdrum and into the light
Into a world that holds me so tight
So close to the heart where love’s at the core
With a love like this how I could soar
Out of the darkness and into the light
Away from the sadness I would take flight
To a world that is meaningful, special and true
Where I would exist to simply love You

Me, too!

The Tortoise or the Hare

Have you ever had one of those moments in life when you want to crawl into your own little shell? Just call me turtle today. I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to interface with anyone. I would like to fill the tank and drive far, far away. (But hopefully not lose my Jeep again – see yesterday’s post.)

Instead I am making the conscious effort to not make waves. Yes, I watched as my son was about to fry some sausage for breakfast. Yes, I knew it was Friday. Yes, I knew he’d slam down the pan if I told him. He’s old enough to know the day of the week as well deciding whether or not to adhere to the Lenten practice. As it turned out he was a little upset he forgot. Still, had I intervened it wouldn’t have been pretty.

There are so many things I wish that my sons would just do without being told to do them. The list is endless. I am tired of being Mom the Drill Sergeant. Yesterday I spoke with another mom with the same trouble; it’s universal. The snow has melted, the yard needs a clean up. Why can’t they see that and want to live in a tidy spot? They couldn’t care less. And I am quite tired of caring more.

But how to turn it off? I’m attempting a less hands-on approach as my young men grow older. I know they have to live and learn from all their experiences, but it’s hard to watch as they choose to live in a messy environment. Because I have to live here too! I wouldn’t care if they were messing up their own places. Towels draped on dining room chairs, underwear on the bathroom floor, dishes left unwashed. The list really is endless and quite depressing, so I am done dwelling on it.

I’m going out to lunch with my husband. We will come home to the same mess, but perhaps my attitude shall improve. I have been working on my small part of the house in my bedroom today. This serves a two-fold purpose: It keeps me away from the messy looneys and offers me a better atmosphere. I am conquering the many papers which have accumulated in my room. Then I shall re-arrange a few pieces of furniture. It may not shake the world, but it’s something – it’s an improvement of some kind, however small.

So like the tortoise, not the hare, I go…

Where'd I Leave My Brain?

A public shoutout to the lovely woman who helped me find my car in the Wally World parking lot today. I came out. I walked to my car. I looked. I wandered. I worried. I felt like an idiot. My car was nowhere to be found. I was beginning to think someone had stolen it! When suddenly this angel of mercy shows up since it’s so obvious I’m walking around in circles.

She suggests I hit the panic button on my keys. Nothing. We walk around together. She offers me her phone advising me to call 911. I just can’t do that. It must be there somewhere. I call my husband instead. Like what could he could? But still, I called him. And lo and behold way off in the distance I saw a dirty old Jeep that looked like it could possibly be mine. But how’d it get that far away?

I tried the remote. Nothing. But we walked toward it anyway. As we neared the Jeep I pushed the remote once more and on went my lights. Geez, what an idiot! I went in the wrong door. I actually went in the wrong door! Or more precisely, came out the wrong door! I still can’t believe I did it.

But you know what else I can’t believe? How much easier it was to wander that parking lot with my newfound friend, rather than by my lonesome. It made all the difference. I had asked God to help me find my car. And He did, but He also sent me this reassuring stranger to ease my worried mind.

Lightening another’s burden is what we are all supposed to do. Thank you to this wonderful woman and to God. And maybe next time I won’t be such a dope!

MyFitnessPal.com

Meet my new pal: a Web site at www.MyFitnessPal.com. If you knew me you would know how unbelievable it is that I would be recommending a fitness site. For those of you who don’t know me – trust me (said the spider to the fly).

Five babies ago I walked down the long straight aisle in the I-have-to-have-this wedding dress. I sold a car to buy my wedding dress. It was a size 9 and fit perfectly. Since that fateful day my path has wound along the long and winding road. With every pregnancy I gained weight, and silly me, I never lost the weight. My sons came quickly – four boys in five years with a sadness I don’t care to go into right here and now, but I also had a daughter for a short time. Five pregnancies really packed it on.

You’d think that scampering after four little boys would have run the excess weight off of me, but it never did. Oh sure, I had my stints of “Sweatin’ to the Oldies.” Me and Richard Simmons did OK for a while, but then I wandered away. I’ve joined gyms throughout the years, but losing weight has always been a personal thing to me. Sweating out in public among a bunch of hormone heavy iron-pumping teenagers never appealed to me. Once, the music one boy blared on the gym’s stereo sent me running out of the gym; I never returned.

I’m 50, not 20. I will never be a size 9 again. I will never proudly state on my driver’s license that I weigh 120 pounds. But I’m darn sick of being overweight. Just plain tired of it. I see Valerie Bertinelli toting around those sacks of potatoes, I’ve watched Oprah wheel out a wagon full of fat to simulate lost pounds, but I don’t want to go anywhere and talk about losing weight. I just want to lose the weight.

And I have found a FREE Web site that makes it crazy-easy to keep track of what I eat. I type in whatever food it is and MyFitnessPal.com offers brand name choices with the calories spelled out along with carbs, fat and protein. This site does so much of the work for me. When I’m on a diet I don’t want to be thinking about food all day – looking up calories, writing them down, adding them up. And with this site I don’t have to.

MyFitnessPal.com also tracks exercise. I say how much exercise I am willing to do each week and my new fitness guru tells me how much I can eat and lose the weight I want to lose. It’s a straightforward way of balancing food intake with exercise. Everybody knows we have to eat less to lose weight, but how much less? Starve ourselves? No. Our bodies will hold onto the fat if we eat too little. This is a balanced plan which I highly recommend for any women out there who need a little extra push to lose weight.

Spring’s right around the corner and we all know summer follows. Warm weather, shorts, and sleeveless tops. See, I’m realistic: I was never a bikini girl. Those ads on TV turn me off. I don’t need to lose those last seven pesky pounds to be able to cavort on a beach with a string separating my cheeks. MyFitnessPal.com is for real women who need some help, discreet help, found in the privacy of a laptop. Click over there – what do you have to lose, except weight!

God's Time

Today I ventured out without a coat – first time since probably November, and it felt great. It’s amazing how much cheerier the world seems with a little hope in the air. One of my sons already wants to grill hotdogs outside. My first reaction was a typical mom response: “Not until the yard is cleaned up.” Where’d that come from?

That was basically his response: “What does that have to do with grilling?”

Nothing. Positively nothing. What it does have to do with is the fact that as the snow is finally melting, all the little “treasures” which had been hidden during the winter are beginning to show. Little things and big things which weren’t put where they should have been for the last couple months. I’m probably the worst offender of them all; I threw out a bunch of stuff while cleaning the upstairs over a month ago, and the handiest way to reach downstairs was straight out the back window! Then it snowed. And snowed and snowed. And that snow covered up my mess. But now my mess is becoming larger each day as the sun hits closer to the house. And the grill is right by the mess, my mess. Now do you understand the weird mom logic?

We all endure winter knowing that spring will come; we all endure trials on our life’s journey knowing that they won’t last forever – that good will follow the bad. Optimism keeps us going. God keeps us going. When difficulties come we need to go to Him – and wait for God to send His springtime to us. Sometimes the waiting may seem unbearable, but wait we must because life is on God’s time, not our time.

One Life to Live

Do you ever want to curl up in a cocoon like a caterpillar? Spin a web around yourself to shield you from all that you don’t wish to deal with? Life isn’t rosy all the time for anyone. Whether you’re just starting out or been at this thing called life a while, we all have our up days and our down days with many days in between. As moms, however, we are also equipped with that super-strong radar when it comes to our children. So not only do we experience our fair share of down days, but we also heap on our children’s bad days much of the time.

I don’t know about you but I’m getting better at shrugging off my sons’ bad days. I think we call this progress. I have to remember that I am me; I am not any one of my children. I have my life, and that life is the life for which I am responsible to God. I have raised my boys. Now it’s up to them to forge their ways in life. I can advise, but I can’t do it for them. It’s sink or swim time. And I have to sit on the sidelines and watch.

I can only do so much now. And that’s OK, because I did so very much for a long time. I’ve given my boys the basics. What they choose to do with the knowledge is up to them. Now I’m allowing myself to take a breather from their worries. I’ve earned it. I’m happy I’ve learned to step far enough back to observe and not become embroiled in situations over which I really don’t have much control. It’s a freeing feeling. Don’t get me wrong – a kid needs me – I’m there, but I also realize when it’s best not to be there – best for them and best for me.

Watching the Red Carpet from My Green Carpet

Happy Academy Awards watching! That's where I'll be. Looking for pretty dresses!

Refreshing Nothingness

I’ve often spoken of my dad’s favorite expression: Keep plugging away. And most days that’s what we moms do. But this weekend instead of plugging away at responsibilities, I unplugged. My husband and I drove a few hours south where, remarkably and refreshingly, all snow had melted. We so enjoyed seeing grass instead of the dirty white stuff. And the sun shone for two days in a row. How lovely!

My biggest claim to fame was a much-overdue trip through Bath and Bodyworks. I tested scents and purchased three new ones. That’s my kind of fun, my definition of unplug. Not having to be anywhere at any certain time, not having to do anything. And here I am at home again just a day and a half later feeling much relaxed. Agenda tonight? Be a couch potato, that’s my plan. Next week will be here soon enough with all its “to dos.” But it’s not here yet! And I’m relishing every moment of nothingness.

He's Got All of Us Moms in His Hands

In my part of the world the sun is shining and birds are singing as I begin my morning – this as opposed to the mountains of snow and freezing temperatures of late. What a refreshing glimpse of what’s around the bend: spring. Oh sure, we’ll have more snow and more frigid weather. Mother Nature always seem to make one last stand at the end of this month or near the beginning of April, but then she relinquishes her grip and allows warmth to fill our lives once more.

This weather description mimics life. We endure our trials until we feel we can’t possibly take another downturn. But then comes a spring for us. A time when maybe, just maybe, things begin to look up. Perhaps it’s a realization that our children are growing up and the acknowledgement that we haven’t done a half bad job at raising them. Or our efforts at work pay off in the form of a raise. Or maybe we’ve just enjoyed the first night of uninterrupted sleep after having brought our baby home from the hospital. Various points along the mom spectrum but the feelings are quite similar: relief – the Ahhh moments of life.

Relief that what we are doing is reaping rewards. We moms need encouragement, words of praise every so often, just like our children. So God sends sunshine to warm hearts, or smiles to melt our fears. God knows what we need before we know. Just like we know what our children really need before they know. As we watch, waiting patiently for our children to come around to what’s right, God watches over all His children – moms especially, I think – to come around to His way of thinking. God’s pretty smart – He knows who has the power to change the direction of a family, to whom youngsters run for advice. So God watches over “His” moms extra carefully. God keeps us moms in the palm of His hand. I can’t think of a safer place to be!

Many Thanks!

Isn’t it funny how when we do our best to do God’s will in our lives, unexpectedly good things seem to find a way of happening to us? The feeling that all is right with our world. That’s not a coincidence. Some people may call it karma, or feel that the good is deserved because we’ve earned it. But I like to think that God is simply opening His big strong arms and giving us what any of us would give to our own children – the very best He can muster, not because we’ve ever done anything to deserve God’s love and blessings but just…because.

And for that, I thank you, God.

One Ringy Dingy

I am sooooo happy! Amazing what one phone call can mean. It’s 11:00 p.m. here in the States, but way far away in Afghanistan it’s about 8:00 tomorrow morning.

I was already in bed. The phone rang two rings. Odd. It’s kind of late for calls and all my sons have cell phones, so what’s up? Then it rang three times. I wondered what was going on but, hey, other people were still up, so they could handle the phone.

And the next thing I know I’m talking to Afghanistan in the guise of a wonderful Marine I’ve known since he was in the third grade. I’ve written about Micah before. He was in my son’s grade all those years ago and they’ve remained best friends through all the little traumas of childhood and the big ones of adulthood, namely Iraq and Afghanistan.

Micah finished his tour in Iraq only to be deployed again. And now he’s where all that fighting has been in the news lately. It’s awful. I hate that he is there. I hate that any Americans are there. After 9/11 I was pretty gung-ho on revenge. No longer. I want our boys and girls home. Safe and sound.

Micah sounds good. He had his first shower in four months. Can you imagine! I can’t. Again, I hate everything about it. On the weekend I went to see the movie “Dear John.” Dumb choice; I thought of Micah the whole time. I pray he comes home safe, well and whole.

Now I am so torqued that he sounded so good I can’t sleep! I’m up here in my little sanctuary with the Beatles cranked! It’s a mini-Micah celebration for one. But it’s nothing compared to the BIG Micah celebration when he returns home in June.

Please keep Micah and all the other brave men and women in the armed forces in your prayers.

Chivalry is Alive and Well

Each day is busier than the next! Why is that? Will life ever slow down? Today I took my mom to the doctor. At one point all seats in the doctor’s waiting room were completely filled and five people were standing around with no place to sit. But chivalry is not dead, for one man gave his seat to three different ladies. Just as the poor guy thought he got his seat back another person entered the room. It was kind of funny and very sweet that he kept getting up.

Something as simple as that restores my faith in the human race. I wrote about the domino effect yesterday in regard to bad occurrences, but I bet the next time any of the folks who were in that waiting room today are waiting somewhere where additional seating is needed we will think of this unselfish man and hopefully do the right thing.

It’s funny what you remember. My family moved out to the “country” my freshman year of high school. Until that time I rode the bus home every day from school. But on the very last day before we moved as I was riding on the bus for the last time the bus was very full and a lady stepped on the bus with no seat for her. I gave her mine. I don’t remember much about any other ride home but that day sticks in my head to this day. Doing something nice makes a person feel good. And I remember feeling very happy all the way home that last day…standing.

I know that as a mom since our very nature is give, give, give, sometimes we get tired of giving. I’ve certainly gone through phases of enough is enough. But when is enough really enough? Never. Not as long as God is watching, and He’s always watching. So maybe tomorrow I’ll go out of my way to do something nice for someone who doesn’t expect it. Maybe you can too.

P.S. Did you know today is 3-2-10…Blastoff!

But I Don't Want to Play!

When a person, namely this person, has a bad day such as yesterday I can’t help but be reminded of dominoes. One by one, as in the child’s game, one domino begins to fall, brushing another, crushing the other, on down the chain until no dominoes remain standing. All are flattened.

Yesterday was bad. No doubt about it. And when a mom has a bad day it can’t help but affect others by the very fact that a mom touches so many lives. Like the rippling of a pond, a mom’s actions are carried out and still further out until the ripples are no longer visible. Unseen, they continue to spread.

These days it seems the hurrieder I try to go the behinder I get. And I’m not really trying to go so fast. I’m just trying to keep going – to keep plugging away as my dad so often has said. At times such as this I trust God to point me in the right direction, to tell me what’s important and what can slide. Important: my parents and my family. Sliders: the dishes and the laundry.

So my house is a mess. What else is new? But I made baked spaghetti tonight for dinner for my boys, and two of their friends unexpectedly came by. I was happy I was able to share. Now if all the men in this house could reciprocate and wash those dirty dishes I’d be one happy camper. I know…it’ll never happen…not in a million years. I’m getting carried away. So I will keep plugging away doing what I think is right, trying to absorb the bumps, not allowing them transfer to the ones I love.