Say It Isn't So

Until yesterday I’d never been to open-casket calling hours for a young person. It was horrible. Even though I have lost a child, I have always felt that the longer you have had a child the harder it would be to lose that child. The more the memories – the more the anguish. Such was the case yesterday when my husband and I paid our respects to the parents of a boy with whom one of my sons graduated just four short years ago. The accident involved his motorcycle and a car. Motorcycles never win those battles.

How could this child be lying in this coffin? Surely it was a hoax. Like in a movie. He would just wake up and be fine. If only that were true. But no, not so. His mom stood so near him, touching his chest often, standing, being brave. And he was an only child. Cruel fate? His time? I don’t know.

I remember substitute teaching one year at the local high school right before prom. The school coordinated the staging of a fake accident to warn soon-to-be prom goers of the hazards of drinking and driving complete with mock accident, paramedics and a life flight helicopter rescue. After the demonstration, students were ushered into the gym where we listened to a father relate the horror of answering his door in the middle of the night to hear the news that his son had been killed. The final shock for all in attendance came as each student walked single file past the coffin of the “victim.” But when the students peered into the coffin they saw their own face reflected in a mirror. Chilling. But highly effective.

That’s all I could think about as I watched the boy for whom I’d cheered throughout basketball and football right alongside my son. It’s fake. It’s a prom stunt. But, of course, it wasn’t. It was cold, stark reality for all who’d loved him. I can’t imagine what my own son, his friend, must be feeling. I hope he talks to me if he feels the need. Bottling up feelings never solves a thing. Writing now helps me a bit. Doesn’t make sense of it at all, but helps…a little.

My four sons who regularly drive me nuts have taken on a warmer glow in the face of this tragedy. You just never know. I hope my boys and their friends realize how very precious life is and treat it with the respect it deserves. We only get this one life.

My prayers go out to this young man’s family. May he rest in peace.